I honestly don’t expect this post to make any sense, so if you can follow, I think you deserve to win a prize. I’m just letting my fingers loose after a long, short, tumbling, whirling, fun, funny, hard, pillow-soft, loving, lovely week. (And so it begins.)
In order of preference, kitchens come first. Then, normally, I would probably say bedrooms. But tonight, I’m inclined to say bathrooms. Because, well, bathrooms show us the truth of ourselves. The bathroom is where I can close the door and study my face in the mirror. It is where I close my eyes to rinse conditioner out of my hair and be confused when I open them to find myself in my shower in my apartment. I can honestly say I have no idea where I was in my head, or where I expected to be when I opened my eyes, but it was not there. And yet I was. The bathroom is where I step out of the shower and catch a glimpse of a silhouette of a cheekbone while moisturizing and catch my thought, I wish I had stunning cheekbones.
It is where I listen to myself murmur the word, understated. It is where I can admit to myself that I wish not everything about my face and body were so understated. My slight build and understated cheekbones. It is where I can wish for big, bright, blue-green eyes in the place of my own smaller, duller blue-grey. Of course, I know how to accent them – I know how catch them in the right light at the right angle, for an optimal photographic result. I know how to emphasize and highlight. That’s part of what being a girl is, for some of us at least. I think.
But in the bathroom, my makeup comes off. My hairpins come out. (Guys, just, skip this sentence, if you please.) It is where the best part of my day happens – I take off my bra. (Okay, you can look again. Yeah, I know you read it anyway.) It is where I see myself for what I truly am: slim, understated, and bruised under the eyes with fatigue. It is where I see the slight lines of strain this week has left around my mouth. It is where I see my hair gone limp and slightly darker than usual from a long hot day of work and play. It is where I see the pound of junk food the day camp life has given me, and where I really don’t care. But I don’t make that pizza, after all.
It is where I close my eyes and am transported into my own mind so deeply that I don’t realize it’s even happened until I open my eyes and jolt with surprise.
It is also where the creams and the pencils and the powders and the scents are concealed. It is where they come out in the morning; it is where us women slather on our warpaint. (Which brings to mind a monologue I wrote a few years back that I wanted to find really badly but apparently have thrown out and flushed off my hard drive. Curse you, past me.) It is one of the most intimate rooms in a home, perhaps more than the bedroom. So it would probably be fair to say that some days it is my favourite room and others I absolutely hate it.
I also wanted to give a little update on my past week. As mentioned above, ’twas rather hectic. But I loved it (except at 6:45 in the morning when the construction crew judged it an optimal time to start moving their backhoe and reversing their trucks and using a jackhammer all at the same time – then I might have gotten a bit testy). In the morning, from about 8:30 – 10:45, I was helping out with our church’s very own Vacation Bible School. I was a teacher – I taught 2 days out of five, and I loved it, and I’m pretty sure the kids loved me. At least, that must be some approximation of what they were feeling when they literally tackled me to the floor with hugs this afternoon while I was saying goodbye.
It was awesome.
I really don’t have much more to say (I’m totally lying, but I’m sparing us both and tucking myself into bed in a second). On that note–
One last thing: I love little moments tucked away from the gaze of everyone else, when two people just connect. Just simply, authentically connect.
Thank you, God, for everything you’ve given me and everyone you’ve placed in my life.
And now for real this time.
Good night, and as always, thanks for reading!