I’m getting baptized next Sunday. Proclaiming my faith to my community. Promising to live my life in a Godly way. No matter what.
There was a meeting yesterday to prepare us, to explain a little bit of what to expect. My pastor is going to ask us three questions.
1) Do you believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that God has raised Him from the dead?
2) Have you accepted Him as your Lord and Savior?
3) Will you live for Him, and follow Him the rest of your life?
The handouts we received state that we should answer “yes” or “yes I do” to the questions. Pastor John also mentioned that we have the opportunity to add something, to share a little testimony, if we so desire. I have yet to decide if I so desire. But I do know that I will do one thing differently.
I am not answering merely “yes” to the third question. I’m giving my pastor, and the congregation, and God, a resounding “no matter what.”
I think that that will encompass all I need to say – this will be my testimony. I don’t need to go into details. Most of the people that will be there already know what’s going on with my family. They don’t need to hear me list everything that’s wrong with my life. They only need to know that I will do whatever it takes to keep Jesus an integral part of my life. No matter what.
I’m getting baptized at the same time as my best friend. I’m so glad I’m not doing it alone, or with people that I don’t know very well. I so grateful that her family will be there to witness our baptisms. I haven’t even told my family because I know that I won’t be able to handle the fallout.
But I got so angry with her the other evening. She was telling me that she was happy that her parents were going to be there, but at the same time, she wished they wouldn’t come. I was so incredibly angry; I couldn’t answer her for fear of saying something I would regret. I couldn’t believe she was going there with me of all people.
In hindsight, maybe I should have said something. If she brings it up again, maybe I will express how much it affects me. I would give anything for my family to be as supportive of me as hers is of her, and she’s basically throwing it back in their faces. How dare she take it for granted like that?
Anyway. We’ll just have to wait and see. And no matter how I try to crush it, I will have a hope of seeing my family standing at the back of the church on Sunday, looking on as I take a huge step in my faith. And I will expect to ask to borrow my pastor’s office afterwards in order to have a place to shed the tears that will have built up when they weren’t there. And I will know that, ultimately, this Sunday won’t be about my family, or about me, or about my best friend, but about my God, and His love for me, no matter what. And I will know that one day, there will be peace in my heart because of that. No matter what.